This solo show journey has challenged my authenticity. As an artist, am I able to paint my true experience, or do I succumb to painting for others? Of course, the entire principle behind "The Spiritual Artist" is to look within, quiet the mind and discover our own Creative DNA. But when faced with a solo show, I'm suddenly plagued by thoughts of, "What colors should I use?" "Are these colors trending right now?" "Should my work have one key message?" "Would this work sell?"
And now, with the added component of music, I'm wondering, "Is this song cool enough?"
Unbelievable. How is it that after all of this time, I'm challenged by these insecurities and the desire to please others? I discussed these issues with painter and sculptor Curtis Frederick in a recent podcast interview. (I recommend listening to "How to Attain Timeless Flow and Other Spiritual Practices With Sculptor Curtis Frederick.").
I think it's part of being human. While we are spiritual, we are also flesh and blood. We all have the desire to be accepted and approved. It's not easy to step out and be authentic. As Brené Brown says, authenticity takes courage even when you're worried about failure. I recently started a painting because I was moved by an old 1980s pop song. The emotion of the song drove my strokes. Upon ending that session, I began to doubt myself and even the song. Was the song good enough? Was I good enough? Authenticity isn't an easy path. Are you holding back from something authentic to you? What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?