I have a pattern of trying to force things rather than let them flow toward me. Recently, one of these things was my involvement with a local service organization. I thought it was the perfect place to contribute my talents, but I have only found lackluster reciprocation from them. In my mind, I believe it's the ideal place for me. But I continue to experience some resistance from the other side.
Whenever I encounter a challenge such as this, I lie quietly in the morning light and ask Spirit for guidance. Today, I asked my question and listened. And this is what I heard, "Until you're willing to stand in darkness, you won't see your own light."
What does it mean? How is that possible? What does it mean to stand in darkness, and why should you stand in darkness if your goal is light? We often seek the light. We see glimmers of it in our friends, organizations, significant others, family, society, and more. We chase the light by buying trendy clothes or the newest car model. But often, this is not pure light. What we believe should be our next move from our ego self is not always the best direction.
We are lured with visions of power, popularity, and eternal youth. But the true light is within. The source comes from our connection to Spirit. And when we chase after glimmers of light by clinging to relationships that should end or a job that is finished, we can't see the light guiding us from within. When we receive guidance from Spirit it is always clean, bright, and strong. It's a definite yes. Not a I wonder if this will work? We don't have to force it.
I suddenly realized what "willing to stand in the darkness" meant. We have to be brave enough to stand in our ownness. And trust that clear signals from Spirit will appear.
Last night was a perfect example of letting things unfold naturally. I was conflicted about making a decision. I was invited to my neighbor's house for a birthday party, but my husband couldn't attend because he was in a play. I wasn't sure about going to a party alone. After some reflection, I realized that this neighbor had always been good to me and deserved my support regardless of my comfort level. I decided to trust the source of light within me and follow my intuition that my neighbor deserved my love and support. I heard a strong, "Go!"
I approached the front door with a bit of hesitancy but was immediately greeted by his wife, and from that moment on, welcoming faces appeared one after another. I relaxed into it and trusted myself, Spirit, and the process. I had a great time meeting interesting people one after the other. I even met two people who eagerly shared a synchronicity with my goals. They both took my contact information and promised a future connection.
We try to force things to happen. We sometimes join organizations that we think help us. We often maintain relationships out of a sense of fear. Who will I be if I am no longer related to this person, place, or thing? But, if we're willing to stand alone in the darkness, we will see a light. Spirit is always guiding us through creative impulse and divine intuition. As you enter the world today, look for the light, but don't try to force it. Be willing to stand on your own, look within, listen to the divine guidance always coming your way, and know it is all good.
That organization that I was talking about earlier? I'm not sure that it can be what I think I want it to be. I will listen to Spirit before I take the next step. I will be willing to stand in what I feel like darkness and look for the light.